Yo momma so fat..

...she's on both side of the family.
...the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!
...when her beeper went off people thought she was backing up.
...her nickname is "DAMN"!
...she eats Wheat Thicks.
...people jog around HER for exercise.
...she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
...you'd have to roll over twice to get off of her.
...she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world.
...she lay on the beach and people run around yelling "Free Willy."
...she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and just says "okay!"
...when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call out "Hey, Taxi!"
...she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
...she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
...I've known her all my life ..and I STILL haven't seen ALL of her!
...she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
...she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen!
...I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side!
...that her senior pictures had to be aerial views.
...Her belly button's got an echo.
...even her clothes have stretch marks!
...she uses pillow cases for her socks.
...she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
...she got a run in her blue-jeans!
...her blood type is Ragu.
...when she fell over she rocked herself asleep just trying to get up again.
...that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
...she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
...they tie a rope around her shoulders then drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
...by the time she was 18, she was zoned for commercial development.

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